It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
