Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
