at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
