Duck Duck Cougar?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
