I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
