Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
