All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize