Swine flu. Run for my life!
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
