Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
How's work?
Spinning.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
