I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
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