i just google imaged poop.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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