He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
