Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
