I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
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It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize