I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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