I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He shit in the fireplace
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
how does that bad decision feel?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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