If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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