I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
