OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
