So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
