so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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