We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize