Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
