I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
