Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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