Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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