My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
