i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize