Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
