Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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