Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
