If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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