just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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