You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
