I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
