a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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