Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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