I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
this will be a night to untag.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
