so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
