What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
