Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
