Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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