Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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