fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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