i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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