that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
