I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Quick, to the slutcave!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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