Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
