He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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