we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
