As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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