Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
