This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
