Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
