Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
