You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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