you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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