yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
