I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
