i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
