Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
i think my cat just said my name.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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