So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
