It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Semen is not good for contacts.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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