Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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