you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
my poor anus
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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