...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
