my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize