She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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