one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
