I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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