the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize