I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We had to coat check the pizza.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
