I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
