I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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