Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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