dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
